Intro of sorts

I've always been insecure about my body ever since my final years of primary school, the "popular" girls always bullied me heavily pointing out my flaws and laughing about them. this lead me to stare at my reflection in the mirror for hours, looking at the flaws these girls had pointed out about my body . high school was quite the same even though it wasn't heavy, for most of it I only weighed 32 kg (70lbs), I had long hair that reached past my bottom, but I cut it off because I couldn't take the consent bullying I received because of it, I never really ate lunch or recesses at school I always gave it away to Friends.

things were alot better after I graduated high school, until I went out with my first boyfriend then I started to hate my body just a little bit more, up until I broke up with him over some things I wont mention here encase he somehow finds this blog.I cut my hair even shorter after we broke up instead of doing something I knew I would regret later on.

I've put on a lot of weight since then 32kg more to be exact (64kg/142lbs), (mostly due to my former girlfriends, mother who was really insistent on giving me large portions because of how small I apparently looked to her.),  I can no longer see my ribs but I can still see my hip bones which does make me slightly happy about my body but only slightly. I wish to one day see my ribs poking threw my skin again as they did in high school...

I'm currently studying fashion design and really do feel like the biggest girl in my class, it hurts allot to be the heaviest girl out of my group of friends I have at uni, I don't really feel I belong in this course with all theses size 0 girls surrounding me day in day out. I'm currently completing my 2nd year of study and just don't feel like I belong with these girls, don't get me wrong I adore the course this is what I want to do as a career I just feel that in order to fit in with this career path I've chosen I need to lose the weight I've gained since my last relationship...

random facts about me you might be interested in knowing:-

- I have short violet hair and hazel eyes
- I love winter, the rain, the cold and everything about the season
- I am a cosplayer (follow the link if you don't understand)
- I am a bit of a geek I love anime/manga and gaming when I have the time
- I adore Japanese fashion and hair styles
- I love dressing up
- I am Bisexual
- I love to paint and draw
- I love the outdoors
- smiles and compliments always make my day (even if I don't fully believe them)
- I have dyslexia so pleases excuse any spelling or gramma mistakes I may have not noticed in my posts..

blog post inspired by .Until The End.

~thanks for reading :),
             lots of love Anna xoxo