Hi girls,
spring is here in Australia, winter gone again for another year.

I've been invited to a party in November, my ex-girlfriend is going to be attending aswell and personally I want to look way better than her. which wouldn't take much as she is obese and I am not been a bitch by that she is 155cm tall and weighs 223kg/491.63lbs. When we were dating I sometimes went with her to her doctor appointments, her doctor was getting really desperate about her losing weight that's how bad it was getting... my ex never really took what the doctor was saying seriously.

She got really angry when I agreed with her doctor over her (I didn't call her fat or anything like that I just told her I was generally scared of losing her to health complications caused by her disorder) she couldn't understand why we were both worried about her weight. its funny thinking about it we were complete polar opposites she was short/fat and I was average height/"healthy" weight in comparison the one thing we both had in common was our eds she ate too much and I ate restrictively/too little.

but anyway I've strayed pretty far away from the point which is by November:

• I want to weight less than 60kg/132.27lbs
• I would like my waist to be smaller.
• I want to see a gap between my thighs
• I want to see my ribs fully again before home cooked Italian meals were introduced to me

In relation to my ex-girlfriend I never want to go back there ever. seriously she is the definition of  crazy ass Bitch. I've met some far from sane people in my life, out of all of them she is diffidently at the top of the ladder for crazy. I'll tell you the full story another time its way to big and complicated to put into words at the moment.

My Intake this week 

12th September

total intake - 394cals

burned - 28km run, 1488cals (over did it)

left over - minus 1590cals

13th September

total intake - 617cals

burned - 2 hour walk,722cals

left over - minus 105cals

14th September

total intake:867cals

burned:2 hour walk.722cals

left over:145cals

 

15th September

total intake:711cals

burned: 10km jog,722cals

left over:minus 11

16th September

total intake:765cals

burned:3 hour walk,1083cals

left over:minus 318cals

17th September

total intake:683cals

burned:2 hour jog,868cals

left over:minus 185cals

I have to say I am pretty surprised that there are 10 of you now, I never really thought when I started this that any one would ever sit down and read my ramblings, Thank you for all your support and your comments :]
                    lots of love,
                                    Anna<3

Failure..(contains some bad thoughts)

 Today can only be described as a failure... I ate way too much fatty, greasy,sugary foods... my mum and dad offered to cook me lunch today I agreed to it.. they made me 2 beef burgers, 1 fried egg, a hand full of fried mushroom slices and 3 slices of baguette with butter... I really don't like eating fried food that often but I don't like wasting food either.. I ate everything but a baguette slice I felt really horrible after eating it all. to make matters worse I ended up binging on chocolate in the afternoon.. on top of that its that time of the month...to finish what can only be described as a  horrible day off my dad made me fried chicken and potatoes for dinner...I hate today, I hate this body so much, I hate being a girl, I hate cramps and I hate food.. I hate it all so much... I wont further this train of thought

I don't like talking negatively or about my ed, I hate voicing these thoughts to people I don't like making people feel sad... I like playing a facade of cheerfulness because then people aren't sad, I'm not the type of person who shows negative emotions no matter how I am feeling inside I will always strive to smile and act carefree no matter what I may be feeling.. but don't get me wrong most of the time I am a happy optimistic person its just when it gets too uncontrollable it turns into a facade of lies on the outside that not a lot of people that are close to me see through..

Moving on to a more positive note about my day.. I watched the movie Easy A today it really surprised me I thought it would be another typical high school film but it turned out to be actually worth watching. The parents are a right laugh. I love Olive, shes quite an intriguing girl. Miranda (and clique) kind of surprised me I've never seen religious extremists used as an enemy clique in a high school flick before xD  definitely a movie I recommend watching.

pleases excuse me for voicing these negative thoughts today, this time of the month really has a negative influence on my mood that and when I cant control what I'm eating.. so yea sorry for being a bit negative.. I wont post my intake today cause I don't want to think about the number of calories I ate today..

so thank you for reading, I hope you all had a much better day than me ^__^

 lots of love from Anna<3<3  

PS- I do like being a girl!, just not when its that time of the month <.<

Intake and life in general

Thursday, was a lot better than the last couple of days. My lecturer loves my design she gave me  homework which is to watch the movie " The Nightmare Before Christmas", my all time favourite movie. My lecturer wants everyone in 2nd year to enter into fashion week.  I cant wait this is something I've been wanting to do since 1st year I can't believe its finally happening ^__^ I'm entering my design into the costume couture category that's the main reason I've been asked to watch my all time favourite movie :). The requirement for this category is that the garment must be based around a film/theatre/music production from any era, so Tim Burton movie marathon here I come :)

My Intake

Thursday

-Breakfast: nothing

-Lunch: small wedges and sour cream -111cals

water-0cals

-Dinner: tiny bit of chicken and home made chips - 166cals

half a sm glass of max cola - 75cals

-Desert: (reward for finishing all my homework)

cadbury cream egg -150cals

total -502cals
burned:
up and down stairs for 30minutes -256cals
walking uphill to a mates house and back - 75cals
walking to and from uni - 279cals
left over:  minus 110cals (yay)

Friday
Breakfast: 4 weet bix with milk - 578cals
Lunch: really unhealthy take away -1360cals (major binge)
Dinner: nothing

total: 1938cals
burned:
went for a really really long 3 hour walk after the take away - 1118cals
light cleans when I eventually got home - 80cals
left over:783cals

Friday was mostly spent doing homework nothing really interesting happened, so yea...

thanks for reading,
               lots of love Anna<3

Comment Replies-
@lulu- thanks for your support, sorry to hear about the 8 year old boy you use to baby sit, hope he is doing well